So I just woke up. Reading the usual blogs to get my mind going and I come across this article.
A dude from my high school is dating Paula Abdul. She likes em young.
And I guess I'm jealous. Jealous because I'm not the sort of beautiful man that gets celebrity tail like Dante. Jealous because I'm not a model for International Male.
Sure, I'm smart and deep and terminally hip. Great.
My first encounter with post-HS Dante was when I bought the discount htree pack of Playboy's Wet and Wild DVDs. Pretty crappy overall, lots of bad implants and unenthusiastic women faking how they're enjoying disrobing and trying on lingerie while a fire hose blasts them.
One of the scenes featured Dante.
There is no better erection killer than watching semi-porn featuring a dude that you know. I've never seen a chick that I know strip or do porn (other than a private showing of course), and that might be creepy and it might be hott. But when I recognized Dante, I had to skip ahead and take a moment.
The most ironic part of this, is Dante doesn't sing. Or at least he didn't in HS. I guess he didn't star in softcore either.
You never can tell.
The point of this is that I'm officially declaring I want to sleep with a celebrity. Anne Hathaway (NSFW) are you listening?